They’re Going to Talk Anyway. So Build the Body You Want.

Building your body isn’t just about muscle — it’s about confidence, presence, and owning the reflection you see.

They’re going to judge you no matter what you do — so build the body you want for yourself.

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be big. To take up space. To look and be powerful. But when you’re young, gay, and carrying that dream around in silence, it feels impossible. I may have had potential, but I didn’t have support. No one in my corner telling me it was okay to want more — to want muscle, size, strength. To want to be seen.

People used to say, "You don't want to be that." "You don't want to get that big, it's gross." "Yeah, but don't take it too far."

But how did they know what I wanted? They didn't. They were projecting their insecurities onto me. Their fear of standing out. Their discomfort with someone chasing a different version of themselves.

I had to figure it out alone.

It took years of trial and error. I spent most of my 20s trying to, and succeeding in gaining size, and still feeling small. Feeling like something was missing. Support.

Support is powerful. Having people who believe in your goals, who stand beside you and encourage you to chase them unapologetically — that changes everything. Without it, you're left second-guessing. Diminishing your dreams. Wondering if you're allowed to want more.

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-30s that support showed up for me.

First, I met my partner. Someone who shared those same dreams. Someone who stood beside me and said, “Ok, let’s build it.” It wasn’t just about muscle. It wasn’t just about size. It was about finally having the belief, the support, and the drive to become the version of myself I’d always pictured — inside and out.

Second, I finally came out. And I’ll be honest — I wish I had done it sooner. But like building muscle, stepping into who you are takes time. It takes risk. It takes ignoring the noise of what other people think.

Because they’re going to talk anyway.

So build the body you want.

Be the person you want.

Chase the version of yourself that feels powerful, attractive, and real, not for them.

For you.

Whether that means stacking on mass, chasing lean lines, or transforming into the Muscle Bear you’ve always imagined, do it.

Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting for the perfect time.

I coach gay men who are ready to stop apologizing for their goals. Who are tired of the judgment. Who want to walk into a room and own it - body, confidence, presence.

Like I said, support changes everything. I can be that support for you. The structure, the guidance, and the push to help you build the body you want — and the confidence to own it.

If you’re ready to build your version of big, I’ll help you get there.

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